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The Digger :Your Metal Detecting Magazine E-zine
December 10, 2007

The Digger

Issue 4 The Metal Detect’en Adventures Of Clem And Clyde

by Clem Digger

Howdy folks, Clem Digger here once agin.

I gotta tell ya. Taint easy writt’in this here article.

I ain’t got time much, cause I’m treasure huttin with my ole buddy Clyde Loop quite a bit. But my other pal Frank, the brains behine this stuff, well he’s bin push’in me to get going writt’ing,

So here she goes.

We’ve been detect’in that ole ghost town I was tell’in you bout in the last issues of this here ezine.

We finaly found it after ole Clyde got pulled outa that well and we missed gittin kilt by that train I was tell’in ya bout.

That there ghost town was a ways back in the toolies.

We kept walk’in all ovir the place we figured the ghost town was at. Ole Clyde was complane’in lot bout his nees hurt’in him from walk’in so much. So we kipt stopp’in to rest.

One time when ole Clyde sat down on a ded tree stump he couldn’t get up.

I askd him, “wha’s the matt’ir with ya?”

He says, “I cain’t stand up. My nees hirt”

I says to him, “Yir gitt’in ole. Now go slow.”

So I help’ed ole Clyde to his feet an he walked three steps an fell down.

He was ly’in on the ground scree m’in in pain real bad.

“Oooh Aaaaah. Oooooh”

I says, “Clyde. Yir nees hirt that bad?”

He says, “Nooooo. Aaaaaah. Ooooooh dear lordy!!”

I says to ole Clyde, “where da ya hirt ya big cry’in babie?”

Clyde’s a ly’in on the ground rolled over on his side yell’in’, “ MY ARSE. MY ARSE.”

An he’s grabb’in his hine’ey an pull’in his drawirs down an ask’in me to take a look’sie fir him.

I told ole Clyde we was frinds but I ain’t look’in at his arse.

That’s when Clyde screemed even louder.


Well me in ole Clyde goes back a ways. Some says maybe we even related through kin. I ain’t sure bout that, but I knows me in Clyde is good frinds, so I decid’d to bent down an look at Clyde’s arse. Cause he was hurt’in real bad.

I ain’t never seen an arse like ole Clyde’s befir.

Don’ t reckon I evir want to agin neether.

An rite aways I seen what the problim was.

Clyde was still screemin an scarrin the critters in the woods. I was fraid someone wouldt here him an come by see’in me with my hands on ole Clydes bare arse. I says to him.

“Stop screem’in. I sees the probl’im.”

I told Clyde he musta fell on the branch that was stuck in his arse.

I says to him. “Now I gotta pull this here oak branch from yir arse. So be still.”

Befir Clyde had his chance of answir’in me I gave a yank to the tree branch an unstuck it from his arse.

That was the worset site I’d evir seen. I worried bout hav’in nite mares bout ole Clyde’s arse.

Clyde was so happy he hugged me befir pull’en up his drawirs.

I ain’t nevir been hugged by any bare arsed man befir, so I yelled at ole Clyde to stop an pull up his drawirs befir we get caught mess’in the woods.

Anyway’s me an Clyde found the ghost town an did some dect’in. But Clyde kipt stopp’in to rub his arse evir so ofen.

I found some ole goodies that I’m gonna tell ya bout in the nixt issue.

Rite now I gotta go cook up some suppir fir me an Clyde. He’s been stay’in with me fir a few days till his arse heels from that oak tree branch.

And I gotta stir the turtle soup anyways, cause I asked Clyde to do it but he fell asleep after drink’in a jug of hard cider we made.

Yir detect’in pal


Heard on the Street

Here are some reprint of interesting articles:

To Harold T. Wilkins the world is a musty parchment marked "Unexplored," "Galleon Sunck Heer," "Ye Treasure iii Leagues S.W." Panorama of Treasure Hunting is his sixth book on buried ingots and briny chests, prehistoric cities along the feverish Amazon and gold dust combed from the pelts of Klondike grizzlies.

Many treasures are hunted, few are found. But their seekers are slaves to the quest as gamblers to the wheel, hopheads to the needle.

Magnetic pole of the gold digger's globe is 5° 30'N, 87°W: a Pacific isle named Cocos, rainy and "snagged, like an old pirate's teeth." There in the last 80 years have gone hundreds of adventurers to ruin their lives, lose their own fortunes in search for three pirate hoards (worth perhaps $60,000,000) which legend has buried about its shores.

Biggest find to date: one rusty pistol. So littered with gold diggers' picks & shovels is Cocos Island that it looks "like an abandoned WPA project." A frequent visitor: Franklin Roosevelt. At Cocos the President fishes, yarns gleefully about such plunder as he himself once dug for at another famous trove on Oak Island, Nova Scotia. Other items in Wilkins' index of rainbow ends:

The Mysterious Peralta Stone Tablets

After reading a 1964 Life Magazine article describing the mysterious Peralta Stone Tablets, Raymond Dillman launched himself into a lifelong campaign to decipher the stones and discover their original meanings and the treasures they pointed to. Secrets of the Stone Tablets, a new treasure-hunting documentary from XZault Media Group examines one family’s quest for discovery and treasure.

Apparently tapped for plot lines to the recent National Treasure sequel, the underlying story behind the Dillman family’s search makes for an incredible modern-day treasure hunt tale, if not an incredible documentary. Though the production value of the film itself leaves something to be desired (most of the interviews are only with Dillman family members or friends), the story is striking enough in itself to still pull viewers in.

Covering the exploits and treasure digs of the Dillman family, this documentary seeks to further the theories of Raymond Dillman, declaring that the Peralta Stone Tablets were created by Cabeza de Vaca and Estevenico. Covering several archaeological digs in the American Southwest (including the Dillman family’s 1982 dig in Utah that uncovered a fifth stone tablet, three skeletons, and numerous artifacts), Secrets of the Stone Tablets is something of a larger-than-life adventure story set in the 21st century.

I Dug Up This Junk

Credit goes to the author of this article:

Time Team Episode - Archaeologists vs. Metal Detectorists

Since 1994 a television show about professional archaeologists has been gaining popularity in the United Kingdom, and this weeks episode caught my attention!

Time Team is a show that focuses on a team of archaeologists and is usually hosted by either Mick Aston or Francis Pryor. These archaeologists convene at a site with a team of trained professionals, usually in the U.K., that is locally known for an unsolved archaeological mystery or is personal property that has never been excavated and may have interesting items buried underneath. The Time Team uncovers as much as they can about the history of the site in three days and excavates any promising signals, often in conjunction with the local archaeological unit.

This week’s episode of Time Team caught my eye because the issue of “Archaeologists vs. Metal Detectorists” is address. Hosted by Tony Robinson, the show is focused on a possible Viking boat burial in Yorkshire, England. Metal detectorists made the initial discovery of coins, silver and swords and now a team of archaeologists is set to find the source of the objects. But as Robinson follows the dig he discovers an uneasy relationship between archaeologists and the country’s 50,000 metal detectorists.

The episode is listed on My Park with the description: “For some, the hobby of detecting is all about learning more about the past, but for others it’s the lure of making money by selling what they find on the open market. At a time when the government scheme designed to promote better understanding between these two factions is under serious threat from budget cuts, the programme reveals just how precarious the relationship can be.”

This episode aired yesterday and is certainly worth a look. I’ll keep you folks posted on when it will air on the Discovery Channel UK, or maybe it will pop up on YouTube. Either way - this is one I don’t wanna miss!

Arkies Can't Please Each Other

Anyone who has been to my metal detecting laws page at my website understands my concern with Archaeologists and their idiotic laws that affect our hobby.

Wells heres an interesting piece “I dug up.”

Even the Arkies can’t get along with each other.

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