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The Digger :Your Metal Detecting Magazine E-zine
January 26, 2009
The Metal Detect’en Adventures Of Clem And Clyde
by Clem Digger
Howdy folks, Clem Digger here once agin.
Yir all probiblie mitey upsit’at me. I know’d I ain’t bin writin bout me an ole Clydes treasure huttin ventures. I pologize fir it. But I gotta tell ya. I bin so dang busy with Frank’s new venture that I ain’t had time fir writin. Frank’s gonna explane in this ezine a bit later bout what he’s up to now. It’s pirty inerestin stuff if I’d do say so. Anyways fir rite away now. I think its best I brang ya up ta date bout me and my detect’en pal Clyde Loop’s bin up to. Frank wanted me to start off in this ezine were Id’ left off in the last isue a while back.
Remimber now, me and ole Clyde likes to fine them old ghost towns in the east and then use are detectors round them. So let me begin by startin off with were me an ole Clyde was in the last is.ue.
We’ve been detect’in that ole ghost town I was tell’in you bout in the last issues of this here ezine.
We finaly found it after ole Clyde got pulled outa that well he fell into. And then we missed gittin kilt by that train I was tell’in ya bout. Remimber, ole Clyde was driv’in his ole truck Calamity when he crossed them tracks an didn’t here the trains wistle blowin. Dang scart the crap outa me. I hit Clyde rite up long side his ole head and yelled my brains out at him fir that. An ole Clyde says, “What train?” Remembir, Clyde’s kinda deaf ‘n dumb in both eyes’ n ears. But I put up with him cause no boddie else will.
Anyways we was look’in fir an ole ghost town, an we finaly did find her.
That there ghost town was a ways back in the toolies.
We kept walk’in all ovir the place we figured the ghost town was at. Ole Clyde was complane’in lot bout his nees hurt’in him from walk’in so much. So we kipt stopp’in to rest.
One time when ole Clyde sat down on a ded tree stump he couldn’t get up.
I askd him, “wha’s the matt’ir with ya?”
He says, “I cain’t stand up. My nees hirt”
I says to him, “Yir gitt’in ole. Now go slow.”
So I help’ed ole Clyde to his feet an he walked three steps an felt down.
He was ly’in on the ground screem’in in pain reel bad.
“Oooh Aaaaah. Oooooh”
I says, “Clyde. Yir nees hirt that bad?”
He says, “Nooooo. Aaaaaah. Ooooooh deer lordy!!”
I says to ole Clyde, “where da ya hirt ya big cry’in babie?”
Clyde’s a ly’in on the ground rollt over on his side yell’in’, “ MY ARSE. MY ARSE.”
An he’s grabb’in his hine’ey an pull’in his drawirs down an ask’in me to take a look’sie fir him.
I told ole Clyde we was frinds but I ain’t look’in at his arse.
That’s when Clyde screemed even louder.
“I’M A HURT’IN ON MY ARSE. NOW LOOK AT MY ARSE DANG BLAM YA.”
Well me in ole Clyde goes back a ways. Some says maybe we be related through kin. I ain’t sure bout that, but I knows me in Clyde is good frinds, so I decid’d to bent down an look at Clyde’s arse. Cause he was hurt’in real bad.
I ain’t never seen an arse like ole Clyde’s befir.
Don’ t reckon I evir want to agin neether.
An rite aways I seen what the problim was.
Clyde was still screemin an scarrin the critters in the woods. I was fraid someone wouldt here him an come by see’in me with my hands on ole Clydes arse. I says to him.
“Stop screem’in. I sees the probl’im.”
I told Clyde he musta fell on the branch that was stuck in his arse.
I says to him. “Now I gotta pull this here oak branch from yir arse. So be still.”
Befir Clyde had his chance of answir’in me I gave a yank to the tree branch an unstuck it from his arse.
That was the worset site I’d evir seen. I worried bout hav’in nite mares bout ole Clyde’s arse.
Clyde was so happy he hugged me befir pull’en up his drawirs.
I ain’t nevir been hugged by any bare arsed man befir, so I yelled at ole Clyde to stop an pull up his drawirs befir we get caught mess’in the woods.
Anyway’s me an Clyde found the ghost town an did some dect’in. But Clyde kipt stopp’in to rub his arse evir so ofen.
I found some ole goodies that I’m gonna tell ya bout in the nixt issue.
Rite now I gotta go cook up some suppir fir me an Clyde. He’s been stay’in with me fir a few days till his arse heels from that oak tree branch.
And I gotta stir the turtle soup anyways, cause I asked Clyde to do it but he fell asleep after drink’in a jug of hard cider we made.
Yir detect’in pal
Okay, this here is Clem Digger again. This is were I’m start’in off frish from the last ezine isue when ole Clyde got that branch stuck in his arse. Ole Clyde’s do’in bettir. His arse has heeled. An he’s mov’in pirty good.
I wanna tell ya that when me an ole Clyde found that ole ghost town we detected her pirty good. I found a reel nice large cint. It were a 1845. I also found a reel nice small brase bell. It stilt had the clinkir in it. Ole Clyde only fount a read from a brok’in armonica. Clyde keeps find’in them ole armonica reads. An he saves them all to. I fir the life in me don’t know why he’s savin them things fir. Clydes trailir he lives in has junk in every korner. What evir ole Clyde digs he keeps. Clyde says that’s cause junk is wirth monie, an someday he says his junk is gonna make him rich.
Clyde also found a busted, ole spoon. He got reel excited cause he was think’in it was reel silver. I told’em it weren’t silver, but plated silver stuff. That’s when ole Clyde toll me I was jellus. I said. “I aint jellus bout no plated, junk, busted, ole spoon.” Clyde put the brokin, spoon in his detect’in bag, and walked off mumbl’in to hisself.
We staid at the ole cellar hole detect’in fir bout 4 hours till Clyde got tired. He was gitt’en hungry to. An when Clyde is hungry, he’s as miserable as a caged tiger.
When we was ride’in back home in Calamity ole Clyde was driv’in with one hand on the steer’in wheel and his other in Calamitiy’s glove box. He was look’in fir someth’in . I was scarit to. He weren’t watch’in the road, and evir one was beep’in their horns at Calamity as she zigged here an zagged there across the road. Ole Clyde was starr’in the glove box and say’in. “ Hot dang I’m hungry. If I don’t eat someth’in I’m gonna die.” That’s when I seen that big red 10-weeler com’in at us on the same side a the road we was driv’in. Ole Clyde was steer’in Calamity in that weelers lane. That weeler’s horn was blair’n an ole Clyde was feel’in round the inside a that glove box while tell’in me to hush up cause I was scream’in. “Bless me lord . Hurry. Cause we’re gonna die. We’re gonna die.” Then Clyde finds that jerky he was look’in fir. “Bout the same time that 10 weeler slides ovir to the other lane, the one we pose to be in. Clyde puts that jerky in his mouth and then yells to the weeler. “Watch yir ass boy. Get outa my way.” An then he steers Calamity to our lane. I then said to God. “Thank you God cause I weren’t ready to be kilt by a 10 weeler while ole Clyde was look’in fir his jerky.” Then Clyde askes me why I was pray’in to God and he’s chew’in on that stale bit a jerky.
Anyway when ole Clyde took me home I was mighty glad to be there with all my pieces still intacked. I told him to be carefill driv’in home, but I don’t hink he heard me.
Now me an ole Clyde have a story fir ya in the next isue of this ezine. An it ain’t a bout a ghost town neither. This story is a bout when me an Clyde was in Arizona look’in fir a real bury’ed treasuir. It were bury’ed by the spaainish. Me an ole Clyde know yir gonna like that story.
Yir Detect’in pal
A Message to My Subscribers:As I wrote in the past issue of “The Digger”, and as my pal, Clem Digger reiterated, I am sorry for not keeping up with the monthly issues of this ezine. Although the time and effort needed to write and research an ezine is a responsibility I accepted. I do admit that while I was building my website at www.metal-detecting-ghost-towns-of-the-east.com, trying to keep my Exploring Historys Treasures TV series afloat, trying to finish my fifth book about the KGC, and still attempting to write this ezine, and getting the issues out in a timely manner, I became overwhelmed. I hope that you are still interested in what this ezine can bring to you, and that is, a way of seeing the world of treasure hunting and metal detecting through a different set of eyes, and as you know, my friends Clem and Clyde are different.
Remember, you have the right to not receive this ezine. Just follow the instructions that came with this issue if you elect to opt out of further issues. Although I hope you do not do so.
This ezine will probably undergo some changes in the next issues. This is because I am still playing around with ideas of what my subscribers would like to see more of. If you have ideas, please contact me.
This issue will not have the usual “Heard on the Street” section, nor will it have the “I Dug up This Junk” section. The reason why is because of the time that I have committed to my new adventure.
As many of you know, I was the creator and the producer of Exploring Historys Treasures TV series. Now I am both excited and proud to announce the creation of Exploring Historys Treasures - Treasure Hunting Adventures.
Along with my co-host Mike Austin www.rovsurveys.com, we will be your guides on real treasure hunting adventures across the U.S. These adventures will be fun-packed and exciting thrills for the entire family. You will have the chance to search for real treasures, and share in the rewards of any that are found. The information about this exciting new adventure from Exploring Historys Treasures can be found below.
I hope that you will join Mike and I for some of these adventure hunts.
Thanks for your support, Frank
Exploring Historys Treasures
Treasure Hunting AdventuresTreasure hunting adventures are a great way for the family to explore history, dig for buried treasure, and dive into waters that hold sunken wrecks from centuries ago.
Now you can experience the excitment of a lifetime with professional treasure hunters as your guides.
I am treasure hunter, Frank W. Pandozzi, and the Executive Producer of Exploring Historys Treasures Metal detecting, TV series.
I am proud and excited to announce the creation of
Exploring Historys Treasures, (EHT’s), Treasure Hunting Adventures
Whether you are an avid metal detectorist, or a beginner in the hobby, or a person who has always dreamed of experiencing a real treasure hunt, now you have the opportunity to do so.
Together with my co-host, Mike Austin, we will guide you to some of the most remote and exciting hunts anywhere.
Professional treasure hunter, Mike Austin, who is a co-host of my TV series, and me, will be your guides.
These treasure-hunting opportunities are a once in a lifetime experience.
Search for silver and gold bars buried by the Spaniards during the inquisition.
Search for KGC treasures buried in different States.
Search for hermit caches, or buried payroll from the French & Indian War.
Search for Spanish wrecks in the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans
Search for wrecks from the 1800’s in the lakes of the Northeast,
and much, much, more.
We only allow a manageable amount of people on these adventures, usually 5-10 individuals. It is a first come, first in opportunity for each exciting and fun filled treasure hunt. Everyone must sign our non-disclosure form, and waivers of liability, as well as make the initial deposit that is required to secure a spot for these treasure-hunting adventures.
You will have the opportunity to:
Ø Search for real treasures. Ø These are real; Ø They are not coin hunts in a park, Ø Or a staged farm field, Ø And, you share in any treasure located.
HOWEVER, WE DO NOT GUARANTEE that a treasure will be located on each trip.
We cannot promise that you will find buried treasures, but we will promise that you will have a great time and benefit from many years of research experience!
“In my many years of searching for treasure, I have come to realize that the real treasure is in the search and the adventure itself, and not necessarily, what you find.”
The cost for a 2-3 day treasure hunt is $1100 per person. Family pricing is available. This price does not include travel to and from the hunt sites. We pay for food and lodging, as well as the cost to secure any private land for use. We also have a paid staff researcher who has one of the largest, private treasure research databases on lost and buried treasures.
If you would like to be included in future emails about our adventures, please contact me by using the "Contact Me" box at my website homepage
Here is another exciting opportunity:We are now chartering our recovery boat for treasure hunting searches in the freshwaters of the US.
Mike is a commercial diver with many years of experience. He is one of the few treasure hunters who has researched the Great Lakes and many other freshwater bodies, for the wrecks of many vessels that have disappeared during storms and battles from the French & Indian and Revolutionary wars.
His capabilities to locate such wrecks are due to his owning of a ROV (remotely operated vehicle), side scan sonar, and sophisticated software for tracking anomalies below water. By chartering Mike’s boat, you have the exciting opportunity to be part of a treasure search on water. You can have a hands on opportunity to fly the ROV and see how the unit operates as it moves below the waters surface. You will even receive a DVD of the underwater adventure afterward!
Do you know of a wreck in your area? Want to be a part of the fun of searching for it?
Mike will travel to any part of the US, but is based in New York State. For more information about this exciting opportunity please contact me through this website, or visit Mike’s website at http://www.rovsurveys.com/
Here Is An Opportunity For You.
Have you wanted a website business of your own?
Do you need extra income?
Have you got a passion for something that you would like to share with others?
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